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What is the purpose of a relationship and how to avoid conflict

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A relationship is not easy, especially if your partner is from another country. There can be differences because of the lack of understanding between 2 cultures. But, as my psychology teacher told me, why focus on the few differences when we have so much in common. This phrase resonated with me a lot.

We all have something in common when it comes to relationships, and it’s certainly not about compensating, gaining power, getting money, or being somebody…

No. The most important thing we look for when we start a relationship is to grow together in life. Actually, that is the ultimate goal of any relationship, like friendship, work (that’s how it should be and not just growing your bank account). Except that in a relationship with a life partner, you share a close and intimate relationship with him/her.

Long-term relationship and growing together is not easy and will be a bumpy road, conflicts will arise as we are all (often) haunted by our shadow.

However, there is an effective means to avoid conflict with your partner, and one of them is COMMUNICATION (verbal and not verbal).

Communication should first be used as a means to avoid conflict, not to stabilize or de-escalate a conflict. You also need to take time for yourself (as a couple) to talk at length about your life, your feelings, and your desires… and not just about who’s taking the kids to school this week and when you are inviting your friend home.

Below are the habits everyone should have in order to have a deep and long relationship with their partner:

Take time every morning to greet your partner (10 minutes)

Take time once a day for sensual, loving moments of intimacy (kisses, hugs, …) (10 minutes)

Take time once a day to talk about meaningful topics (not about kids, partying, housework….) (40min)

Make time once a week to do activities together that you both like (not including kids, friends, family, pets) (2 hours per week)

Focus on these habits and I can assure you that the relationship with your life partner will improve a lot.

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