A Common Paradox: Well Trained, Yet Stuck
Many new or recently certified coaches share the same feeling:
the training is done, the tools are there, the motivation is strong… yet nothing starts.
The block is rarely about skill or opportunity — it’s usually internal.
Beneath hesitation lie psychological patterns:
the impostor syndrome, fear of judgment, difficulty feeling legitimate, or discomfort with visibility.
Old emotions surface just when the person needs to step forward.
These resistances are not incompetence but protective mechanisms, revealing the parts of self still misaligned with the coach’s role.
The Coaching Posture: A Psychological Shift
Becoming a coach isn’t about mastering techniques; it’s about a shift in identity.
It means moving from doing to being — from acting or advising to holding space and witnessing.
This shift is psychically demanding.
Aspiring coaches may notice that they:
- struggle to tolerate silence or uncertainty,
- seek approval or fear disapproval,
- confuse helping with saving,
- identify too closely with their clients’ stories.
These experiences show that the emerging coach is meeting their shadow — an essential step that cannot be bypassed.
How Therapy Supports This Maturation
A therapist helps the future coach navigate this identity transition.
Beyond emotional support, therapy allows exploration of:
- fear of judgment or failure, often rooted in early experiences,
- unconscious loyalties — the need to please, be perfect, rescue, or be recognized,
- suppressed emotions that might otherwise be projected onto clients,
- and the emergence of one’s inner authority and legitimacy.
Therapy acts as a psychic metamorphosis — it prepares the person to hold the role of coach without being consumed by it.
When the apprentice reconciles with their vulnerabilities, they can finally be present for others without using them to fill their own voids.
Seeing the Block as an Initiation
What we call “being stuck” is often a constructive identity crisis — a natural disorientation before a new self emerges.
Research on coach development (ICF, Hullinger, Turner) shows that mastery comes not from accumulating methods but from integrating experience and awareness — a kind of inner alchemy.
The future coach, just like their clients, must face transformation.
Recognizing that truth — instead of resisting it — is what allows movement to resume.
Practical Tip – How to Recognize What’s Really Going On
When you feel blocked in your coaching journey, take a moment to observe what’s truly happening inside:
Ask yourself three simple questions:
- What am I avoiding? – A situation, a feeling, or a risk?
- What story am I telling myself about not being ready? – Does it come from fear or from reality?
- What emotion keeps returning when I think of coaching someone? – Anxiety, shame, doubt, or guilt?
If the answers feel emotionally charged — if there’s tightness in the chest, tears behind the eyes, or a voice that says “I can’t” — that’s not just lack of confidence.
It’s a psychological signal asking for attention.
That’s the right moment to pause, not to push harder — and to explore these roots with a therapist or supervisor.
Recognizing the emotion is already the first act of transformation.
From Learning to Embodiment
To cross this threshold, three dynamics work together:
- Supervision and peer reflection — to mirror reactions and consolidate posture.
- Therapeutic support — to release existential fears and internalized illegitimacy.
- Progressive practice — small, safe experiments that build both confidence and competence.
Little by little, the coach learns that legitimacy doesn’t come from external validation but from coherence and inner presence.
Conclusion: The Birth of the Coach
Not being able to “become a coach” isn’t failure — it’s a message.
It signals that something within is asking to be seen, healed, and integrated.
Therapy, supervision, or integrative inner work then become not optional but initiatory steps.
To become a coach is first to become fully oneself.
That invisible inner work is what gives real authority, stability, and depth to the profession.
